Classic Ann Landers

Ann Landers
Fri, 31 Mar 2023 21:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Dear Ann Landers: My 32-year-old daughter is getting married for the second time. My daughter and I have a good relationship, but my ex-wife and I barely speak. She and my daughter made all the wedding preparations and paid for the whole thing without any assistance from me. I received a wedding invitation, but it excluded my fiancee, "Greta."

Greta and I have been together for the past six years. During this time, my daughter has visited us often and always seemed comfortable with the relationship. Greta is very hurt and angry that she was not invited to the wedding. She asked me to speak to my daughter about the "oversight" and said that if no invitation was forthcoming, I should not go to the wedding, either.
Updated: Sun Apr 09, 2023

Dear Ann Landers: My 32-year-old daughter is getting married for the second time. My daughter and I have a good relationship, but my ex-wife and I barely speak. She and my daughter made all the wedding preparations and paid for the whole thing without any assistance from me. I received a wedding invitation, but it excluded my fiancee, "Greta."

Greta and I have been together for the past six years. During this time, my daughter has visited us often and always seemed comfortable with the relationship. Greta is very hurt and angry that she was not invited to the wedding. She asked me to speak to my daughter about the "oversight" and said that if no invitation was forthcoming, I should not go to the wedding, either.

I spoke to my daughter, who told me it was the expressed desire of her mother, my ex-wife, not to invite Greta. My daughter receives a lot of financial help from her mother and is obviously reluctant to go against her mother's wishes.

What should I do? If I attend the wedding alone, Greta will think I let her down. If I don't go at all, my daughter will assume I favor my fiancee over her and will be crushed. Any suggestions would be appreciated. — Dad in Bonita, California

Dear Dad: Greta should have been invited to the wedding because she has been your significant other for six years. She was not invited, however, which means she is not welcome. It would be classy of Greta to say, "Go — have a good time, and bring me a piece of wedding cake." If she does not choose to be gracious, go anyway.

This is your daughter's day, and her wish to have you there takes precedence.

Dear Ann Landers: I need help — fast. I have a very dear friend who will be flying to California next month to visit her family. She has never flown before. This woman is large — I am talking nearly 300 pounds, at least.

"Ruth" is not going to fit into a coach seat, and I am not sure she could fit into a first-class seat, either. I don't want her to be embarrassed when she boards the plane. You know how cruel people can be about those who are overweight.

How should I approach her? Should I ask whether she is flying first class? I don't want her to be humiliated, Ann. Thanks for your help. — A Heavy Problem in the Motor City

Dear H.P. in M.C.: Call the airline, and explain the situation. Ask whether they would advise Ruth to buy a first-class seat or two coach seats. Then, tell Ruth you have heard that airline coach seats are getting smaller, and let her know what the airline recommended. It is important that she call ahead so there will be no surprises at the airport. You are a thoughtful friend to be concerned. Bless you.